Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day 2025: You Are Not Alone
At Medfem Fertility Clinic, we know that the anguish of losing a child is overwhelming, but we have also learned that realising there is hope is important. By learning coping skills for living with such heartache and finding support from others who have walked this path, you can begin to rebuild around your other loved ones, and also honour the memory of your little one.
For those who have suffered the trauma of infant and pregnancy loss, it is important to know you are not alone. An estimated 1 in 4 families and individuals have had their lives irrevocably altered by the death of a child in infancy, at birth, or during pregnancy.
Pregnancy loss is defined differently around the world, but in general a baby who dies before 28 weeks of pregnancy is referred to as a miscarriage, and babies who die at or after 28 weeks are stillbirths.
The WHO says that miscarriage is the most common reason for losing a baby during pregnancy. In addition, more than 40% of stillbirths occur during labour, many of which are preventable.
Pinpointing the exact reason is often challenging, because there are many reasons why a miscarriage may happen, including the age of the mother, fetal abnormalities, and infections, many of which are preventable such as syphilis and malaria.
Impact On Mental Health
“The grief cycle is a tough and messy process, impacting on all areas of the person’s life,” says Mandy Rodrigues – resident clinical psychologist at Medfem Fertility Clinic. “Every family unit and each individual will experience this immense loss in their own way. In addition, when losing a child, parents face a relentless grief cycle, deep depression caused by grief coupled with postnatal depression, post-traumatic stress disorder and anxiety.”
Sadly, the bereavement, subsequent intense grief and mental health issues that accompanies an infant loss or pregnancy loss is often underestimated, misunderstood or overlooked by family members, friends and healthcare professionals.
Counselling Is Crucial
Because of the extraordinary impact of the loss of a baby and pregnancy loss on a couple’s well-being, support and counselling are crucial. Our team at Medfem Fertility Clinic recognises this, and counselling is part of our offering.
Speaking to a counsellor that understands the unique stresses of infant or pregnancy loss can be immensely helpful, as is learning about coping mechanisms that are proven effective and relevant for many couples who have experienced it.
Effective counselling can help you process the implications an infant or pregnancy loss has for you as a couple, to put it in the context of your relationships and life, and to assist you to realise that you are not alone in coping with this life crisis.
A good therapist will also assist you in sorting out feelings and emotions, help you to communicate more clearly with others and strengthen already present coping skills while helping you to develop new coping strategies.
Finding Support Can Help
When facing such profound loss, grieving parents need support, understanding and compassion.
Their loss is characterised by a complex emotional response, often expressed in different ways, both in duration and intensity, most commonly manifesting as grief. There is no timeframe for bereavement, although holding a funeral service and creating mementos may help to lessen the duration and intensity of the grief response.
Fortunately, local support groups such as Empty Wombs provides essential support for grieving moms who experienced baby or pregnancy losses to share their grief and their stories, and to come together to find hope through initiatives such as grieving through creativity and the Hope Box Initiative that enable moms to put together beautiful boxes for other bereaved moms.
“There is a connectedness among those who know the deep sorrow, who have experienced the pain, the devastation, the loss. It is a connection with no words, a quiet acceptance, where it is safe to share heartache, grief, stories, even a laugh, to heal and also to give back by making Hope Boxes for others,” says Mandy.
Wave of Light
In remembrance of all the babies who have gone too soon, moms all over the world light candles on the 15th of October, which is Baby Loss And Pregnancy Loss Month. The moms light their candles at seven pm (all time zones) and leave them burning for an hour, before posting a photograph to social media, creating an incredible wave of light around the world. It is beautiful, and a fitting way to remember.
Reach Out To Us For Support!
If you would like to know more, or to meet our resident counsellor, Mandy Rodrigues, who focusses on infertility and specialises in infant loss and miscarriage, and has decades of experience in helping couples cope with the stress of pregnancy loss and infertility, we invite you to connect with us by simply clicking here or contacting us telephonically on +27 (11) 463 2244.
You can also meet with an expert during a Virtual Consultation Via Skype or Zoom. Click here to book a virtual consultation now.
We look forward to meeting you at Medfem Fertility Clinic!
