09 April 2015

Valentine’s Day has come and gone, but that does not mean you can’t make an effort to keep the love alive throughout the rest of the year. If you are struggling with infertility, love and romance may feel like they have flown out the window with all of the pressure and stress you have been facing. Unending medical procedures and escalating expenses can erode affection or even love between partners.

If all you can think about is trying to conceive, then the pressure to be loving and romantic can feel daunting. On top of that if you are taking fertility drugs you could also be dealing with symptoms such as bloating and mood swings.

Whatever you may be feeling, it is important to remember to work on your relationship with your partner to keep the love alive. Here are some tips for reconnecting with your partner that you can use any time of the year to rekindle the passion in your relationship. And remember, let Valentine’s Day be a reminder that beneath your efforts to conceive, there is an ‘us’ that needs to be cherished and nurtured.

  • Spend some time doing the things you love as a couple – take this day as a time to celebrate “us” instead of focusing on your trouble conceiving.
  • Take time to remember what made you fall in love in the first place, talk about your first dates. What made you laugh when you first met? What is it about your partner that made you want to raise a family together? What were the early challenges in your relationship, and think about how you’ve grown together? This may bolster the desire to stay connected as a couple and be happy, no matter what is happening in your lives.
  • Celebrate. Share a romantic dinner for two and exchange meaningful gifts. You have the right to celebrate yourselves as a couple and the union you share.
  • Make passionate love. Forget about trying to conceive, your ovulation date or the end result, and enjoy each other the old-fashioned way, for love and pleasure. Shut off your mind and enjoy being physical with your partner.
  • Treat yourself to a pick-me-up. Why not shop for a dress, or lingerie, or a new outfit (for him) that makes you feel gorgeous and re-kindle the flame.
  • Let it go for a day. Infertility has a way of taking over every second of existence, diminishing the joy and simple pleasures of day-to-day living. Practice letting it go for a day and encourage each other to experience happiness in little ways versus concentrating on the unending aspects of pain and sadness.
  • Do something relaxing. Get a couple’s massage, go to a spa, catch a movie – whatever it is that helps you both to relax and unwind.

Connecting with your strength, compassion and the love you have for each other will serve to make you both stronger. And the challenges we face in life are always easier to bear as a united front than on our own. You will need the reassurance of your partners love at some point in your infertility journey.

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