How to Cope With a Failed IVF Treatment

Dealing with a failed IVF cycle can be a frightening and hopeless time for many people. After everything you have been through it can be very difficult to accept that there will not be a baby at the end of it all. If high-quality embryos have been frozen, then you still have a very good chance of conceiving. If not, then you may feel you have hit a dead end.

It is important to note that failed IVF cycles can provide information for a successful next IVF treatment. Many issues seen in a failed first IVF attempt can be addressed in order to eliminate or reduce the likelihood of the same issue occurring in a second try with IVF.

If you are experiencing a failed IVF treatment, there are things you can do to help you to cope better with everyday life.

Allow yourself to grieve:
A failed IVF cycle equates to the loss of a dream which is heart breaking for most couples. It is ok and natural to feel this way. It is important to take the time to grieve and deal with the trauma, or the feelings won’t go away. Instead, they can grow to dominate every aspect of life. Give yourself time for your head and your heart to heal. For further information visit

Avoid the blame game:
While some degree of anger and anxiety can be expected after a failed IVF cycle try not to let it take over, or it can be destructive. While you need to try and understand ‘why’ the cycle failed, it is important not to blame each other.

Focus on the follow-up appointment:
As soon as you are ready you should meet with your fertility specialist to review the cycle, understand the various results and establish an estimated success rate for a second IVF attempt. Try to avoid making any decisions until you have met with your doctor. You may find that there are changes that can be made to the protocols that might help your odds on a subsequent cycle. There may also be further fertility investigations that can be done or new techniques that can be tried.

Implement lifestyle changes:
Implementing a new fertile lifestyle tells the brain that a new and better strategy is being introduced, and it can therefore expect to have a better outcome. Lifestyle changes could include exercising regularly, managing your weight, quitting smoking, cutting down on your alcohol consumption, avoiding caffeine, and learning new stress management techniques. For more information visit

Counselling with a specialist in fertility matters can be hugely beneficial. Many people gain enormous strength from attending counselling sessions. As bleak as you may feel there is always hope. For further information visit

Look after your relationship:
As with any traumatic loss, a failed IVF cycle can take a huge toll on your relationship. For some couples, the relationship itself can become less important than the goal of having a baby. Remember to nurture your relationship with your partner, spend time talking and understanding each other’s grief, and continue to make time for yourselves as a couple. For further information visit


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