01 January 2015

There is nothing novel about setting New Year’s resolutions. New year, new you, right? Life changing intentions most often include losing weight, getting fit, saving more and spending less, or learning something new. But for the infertile person the New Year’s resolution is most likely to fall pregnant this coming year. Unfortunately, New Year’s resolutions barely make it past the first few weeks of the year. And therein lays the problem. How do you create a New You when your resolutions are so short lived?

Firstly it is important to define a resolution (or set of) that you actually want to achieve and believe can make a difference to your life. Then ask yourself what you can do to make your resolutions stick. What steps can you put in place to bring you closer to achieving your goals?



Set goals with meaning: Meaningful introspection can help you to set goals that really matter to you. Instead of setting a goal for the sake of it, think about what you really want to achieve. The following set of questions may stir your thinking:

  • What were some of your most positive experiences in 2014?
  • What were some of your most negative experiences in 2014?
  • How would you describe the live you lived in 2014?
  • Are you proud of the life you lived in 2014?
  • What will you consciously let go of from the past year?
  • How would you describe the life you would like to live in 2015?
  • What will you cherish most in 2015?
  • What would you like to achieve most in 2015?
  • What are you looking forward to in 2015?

Once you have decided what is important you will find it much easier to create goals that excite you and that you are committed to achieving.

Make a list of achievable intentions: “I aspire to….” Ask yourself are these focused, realistic, positive, and healthy intentions? Ask yourself what I am doing to align myself with these intentions?

Set goals with soul: Setting a list of resolutions because you feel ‘you should’ rather than actually deeply desiring this change will get you nowhere. Try to change your mind set to look at ‘why’ you want to achieve something. For example instead of just saying “I want to lose weight” rather dig deeper and expand on your goal e.g. “I want to lose weight because being healthy and fit will increase my fertility and chances of falling pregnant”. Then quantify your goal e.g. “I want to lose 10kg’s and will focus on losing 2kg’s a month for five months through healthy eating and joining an exercise class”. Already your goal has much more soul, appears far more achievable and touches on a desire (having a baby) which equals far more staying power.
Don’t stop at just quantifying your goal, create a detailed plan as to the specific days of the week you will attend the exercise class. Make a meal plan detailing what you will eat and when, as well as your food shopping list. Finally incorporate your plan into your daily life. Instead of a resolution that is fast forgotten you will be well on your way to creating a New You that is healthier, happier and hopefully more fertile.
You can apply this method to any of your goals. Breaking your resolutions into bite-sized pieces makes them far more manageable and achievable.

Gather support: The more we talk about our goals and dreams, the more real they feel and the better the chances of them coming to life. Think about your circle of family, friends, and co-workers. Who can you trust and rely on? Pick someone who will encourage and motivate you. A good choice is someone who has achieved a goal similar to yours. Put the power of intention and the law of attraction into action – what we focus on grows! So don’t keep your goals and dreams in the dark. Bring them into the light instead of letting them fade away back into the shadows. And don’t be afraid to ask for help and support in keeping the light alive. Your friends and family will be honoured to help you achieve your goals. They will also help you to stay accountable for your actions thereby giving you the courage, inspiration and motivation to achieve what you said you would.

Allow that change is hard: Don’t squeeze the life out of your dreams and goals by holding on to your vision too tightly. Change is hard and expecting things to pan out in a precise way may be setting yourself up for failure. Rather go with the flow and accept that there will be good days and bad. And don’t set too many goals at a time; rather make only one or two resolutions at most.

Think positive and acknowledge your achievements: Attitudes are habits of thinking. Believing you can achieve your goals is a big part of the work involved. So be nice to yourself. What you think or say influences your success. Make sure to include positive self-talk daily e.g. “I did well today” or “I am so much closer to achieving my goal”. By acknowledging your achievements you also focus on your progress. Small steps add up to significant leaps over time, so keep going.

Goals for the Infertile
If your goal is to fall pregnant this coming year then your goals could include some of the following:

  • Understand your health and take control where you can
  • Engage in regular sex with your partner
  • Achieve and maintain a healthy weight
  • Quit alcohol/drugs/smoking
  • Eat a balanced diet
  • Manage your stress
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